Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Mountain to Climb

When Austin was nearly 4 months old, we noticed he didn't want to sit up.  We couldn't put him in a stroller or grocery cart or even in a high chair.  When we tried to get him to sit, he would push back as hard as he could to lay down.  When we told the doctor about our concerns she dismissed them until he was 6 months old and still not sitting up.  Since that time, Austin has been receiving an hour of occupational therapy each week.  At 11 months old he was finally able to sit up unassisted.  We were elated he'd reached his first goal but still noticed he wasn't where he should be developmentally.  We didn't feel we were getting an adequate amount of concern with his pediatrician regarding his delays.  In February we were finally approved to see an off base doctor.  On our first visit she shared with us the same concerns that we'd been having for months.  Although she didn't suspect anything was terribly wrong, she did want us to continue therapy and see a pediatric neurologist just to be safe.  In March we saw the neurologists.  He told us Austin had length discrepancies with his leg and foot on one side and he thought that was why he won't stand flat footed, or unassisted.  He expressed that because of this, he was having balance issues and would eventually learn to compensate and walk. He didn't expect anything else was going wrong but wanted to do an MRI and EEG of his brain just to make sure there wasn't an underlying seizure disorder causing these problems. 

Last week we went to get the test results and were given devastating news.  The MRI showed no brain damage or seizures but the EEG showed Austin's brain isn't functioning at the appropriate speed.  Normal brain function is 8-9 hertz, and Austin's functions at 6 hertz.  They diagnosed him with infantile cerebral palsy.  Although we will never really know the cause of this condition, the doctor believes at some time during his brain development before birth there was a loss of blood or oxygen.  His brain didn't form all of the connections needed to function appropriately, resulting in his condition.

So, what does this mean?  Honestly, we're not sure yet.  Learning to walk, talk, eat solid foods, and learn will all be a challenge for him.  We hope that he can accomplish all of these things, but just don't know what the future holds for him.  He is mobile enough that we are pretty certain he won't be in a wheelchair but don't know if he will need other assistance to walk.  We were given little hope in the doctors office but feel that is the worst case scenario and not necessarily what Austin's life has to be.  We plan to give him as much love and help as we possibly can to make sure he has every opportunity to learn and grow.  As we try to figure out the best ways to help him we ask for you to remember him and Austin & I in your prayers.   This diagnosis is extremely hard for us to process right now.  Hearing your little baby boy will struggle physically, mentally, & emotionally his entire life is heart breaking and overwhelming to say the least.  I look into my sweet little boy's eyes and am overwhelmed with a roller coaster of emotions.  Right now we're trying to focus on the hear and now and put off worrying about what the future may (or may not) bring.

The Lord preforms miracles every day and we know if it's His will, he can help Austin learn to walk and talk and function as other children.  Right now we are trying to talk comfort in the words of Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, "Some blessings come soon, some come late, and some don't come until heaven; but for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come."

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