Saying goodbye to Sassy

Ms. Sassafras VonWeenie

September 1, 2000-May 11, 2011

I Only Wanted You

They say memories are golden

well maybe that is true.

I never wanted memories,

I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,

a million times I cried.

If love alone could have saved you

you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,

In death I love you still.

In my heart you hold a place

no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway

and heartache make a lane,

I'd walk the path to heaven

and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,

and nothing seems the same.

But as God calls us one by one,

the chain will link again.

Author - Vicky Holder

We said goodbye to Sassy Wednesday, May 11th @ 9:30.  She was 4 months shy of her 11th birthday.  Sassy was my companion; a source of unconditional love and comfort during many hard times in my life.  When I went through trials, she was there with me to sit beside me and give me kisses.  She brought such joy and peace to my life when everything around me was chaos.  I do believe Heavenly Father sent her to me as a blessing.

Just days after Austin was born we finally realized something wasn't right with Sassy.  After a trip to the vet, we learned just how sick she really was.  I wasn't ready to let her go, I prayed so hard for her to be healed.  It just wasn't in Heavenly Father's plan for that to happen.  We did everything we could to help her feel better.  She fought hard for two months.  Some days she ran and played like she was a puppy.  I was so optimistic that she was getting better, but it wasn't so.

Monday she began to have seizures.  I knew the end was nearing, and that soon it couldn't be ignored.  Tuesday, we were back at the vet and trying once more to heal her.  She rallied Tuesday afternoon and we brought her home.  She seemed a little weak and didn't really want to do anything but sleep and be near me.  I wish now I'd slowed down just a little more and payed just a bit more attention to her.  Gave her one more kiss, one more pet, just one more....  I prayed harder that night than I have in a very long time.  I pleaded with the Lord to help me let her go & to help me understand his timing.  I prayed for her to go in her sleep if it was his will because I wasn't strong enough to let her go.  I wasn't strong enough to decide it was her time.  I wasn't strong enough to make that decision.  The next morning she had another seizure, and I knew it was time.  She was ready whether I was or not.  I knew I had to love her enough to not let her suffer.  I had to love her enough to let her go.  I prayed for strength and called Austin home from work.

I skyped with my sister and her boys so they could tell her goodbye.  It broke my heart to see them cry for her as they realized what death meant.  Tyler asked why Austin couldn't give her a blessing and heal her.  It hurt to see them struggling with the Lord's will just as much as I was struggling.  We wrapped her in a blanket and took the long ride to the office.  I held her in my arms as Austin & I said our final teary goodbyes to her.  It was over in just a few moments.  I knew she was gone.  

We brought Sassy home, took off her harness, and wrapped her in a white blanket before Austin buried her.  Schultzy sniffed her one last time.  We said a prayer for her and buried her little body.  As soon as the ground was placed back, it began to rain.  The rain washed away all her little footprints on the back porch.  

I know that to most people, a dog is a dog.  To me, Sassy wasn't just a dog.  I am brokenhearted with her loss, but am blessed to have had her in my life.  I heard someone say that God gives us animals to love so that man can understand how God loves us.  We are completely inferior to Him, just as our animals are to us, yet the love we both give is unconditional.  I'd like to think that is true.  It gives me great peace to know that because of the ultimate sacrifice of our Savior, Sassy too will be resurrected because of the blood of Christ.  I'm also thankful that the Lord loves us enough to have given such revelation to John.  He knew I was going to need to know that one day.