Just a month ago my heart was broken after we learned Austin had Cerebral Palsy. As we sat across from the neurologist and heard his words, all of my hopes and dreams for his life were instantly erased. My hopes were replaced with fear, worry and doubt about his future. Would he walk? Would he talk? Would he be able to make friends? Would he date or ever find someone to date or marry. Yes, I know it's a bit much to worry about something that won't happen for 4 years, 10 years, or even 20 years from now but I'm a worrier. It's what I do.
The neurologist told us to "not have high expectations" about Austin. He told us he'd be the kid in school that other kids didn't want to play with because he's different. Austin would struggle to learn because his brain does function as it should. He recommended we get all the help for Austin we could with PT, OT, and speech therapy then sent us on our way.
The first week was a nightmare. I spent most of the night laying awake worrying and most of the day crying. It's pretty safe to say I was a hot mess. Luckily I have a wonderful sister that loves my little man just as much as I do. She dropped everything and came to the rescue. Her boys lovingly sent their momma to come help me and their little cousin. Having help was a life saver while I was mentally trying to get it together. I know that there were many many prayers offered on my behalf and for my little family. Those prayers continue to sustain me through this experience.
I constantly tease my sweet husband by telling him he's Pollyanna. He always finds a bright side and is so stinking optimistic. This is basically my opposite. I'm a what if kind of person. I worry! Needless to say this personality difference can cause some conflicts between the two of us. I'm constantly telling Austin he needs to be more realistic in his life views. However, I was never more grateful for his optimistic perspective than the day my baby was diagnosed with CP.
I needed someone to help me find reasons to hope for the future and have faith that the Lord was in control. That is exactly what he helped me do. As I shared all my worries about the uncertain future, he shared with me the certainty of what his life would be like. Austin will be loved, he will be given every opportunity to learn and grown, he will make friends, and he will have a good life. I knew that as his momma, the responsibility for helping Austin develop and learn would be mostly mine. I'm home with him every day to work with him. I needed to believe anything was possible so that I could help my baby reach for the stars.
The teacher in me knows all too well about having low expectations for students. I knew I had to expect he would learn to do all things other children do, it may just take him a bit more time. I prayed for that belief and prayed that if it was the Lord's will, he'd help him to walk. With those prayers and the help of Julie, Austin's devoted OT, my sweet boy learned to stand unassisted.
Achieving this goal was the small step I needed to believe and the spring board to Austin developing more. We began bribing Austin to stand each morning with his cream of wheat and with ice cream at night. We would clap and cheer for him every time he'd fall and get back up. My heart soared seeing him stand. Everyone was elated with him standing on his own. My sweet nephew Tyler wanted to know if Austin still had the "Terrible Palsy" because he'd learned to stand.
Today, Austin accomplished another goal. He took steps unassisted!! Luckily we were both home to witness such a HUGE milestone in his life. We even managed to get him to do it again so I could video it. Since this morning, he's walked a few more times and has taken up to seven steps in a row. My heart is filled with joy and hope. I know the Lord has helped Austin to develop and I know he has heard and answered the many many prayers offered. To those who have sent messages of hope, love, and friendship and said prayers on our behalf, THANK YOU! You'll never know how much it has meant to us. Your kindness and love has been sustaining us.
